Manifestation isn't possible without gratitude.
A new map for self-study.
I started building this compass about a month ago, prompted by my friend Brooke from Yoga Teacher Training. She was making her own compass during a lecture, as if that was something everyone obviously creates for themselves.
I can’t help but smile after saying that, because 3 months ago I would have never imagined I would be making a literal moral compass for fun with my friends. I guess when you find your tribe, things that once appeared odd, or corny, too mystical, or just unfathomable can become your new rituals and interests.
Since starting this Substack, I’ve experienced a lot of ups and downs, periods where I’m motivated and periods where I’ve doubted myself in my job search, and what I keep coming back to is that getting laid off happened for a reason. I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m grateful for where I’m at in my proverbial journey, and although I didn’t find a job by Thanksgiving like I hoped back in July, I feel a lot closer and better equipped for what’s to come next.
I wrote this post on Thanksgiving but held off on posting it, struggling with what to put at point 5 on the compass. I originally had “compassion” there, but it wasn’t quite right as the opposing force to “patience.” But as I was thinking about gratitude on Thanksgiving day, I was reminded of a recent lecture with Ally Bogard, and some comments she made about the role gratitude plays in manifestation. Below are some of my notes from the lecture —
When people talk about manifestation, or try to apply it to their lives, circumstances, goals they want to achieve, they often create new anxieties for themselves. You may think, “when I get THERE, I will be happy.”
If you plant a seed of joy in the soil of “now is not OK,” it will not grow. It’s like putting a seed in cement. The future is built of a lot of “now’s.”
You need to accept wherever you are now.
We live in a relational field. How you relate to things changes how they relate to you. So we cannot deny the opposite.
We need polarity and then we mediate between those opposing things.
I’ve talked a lot about the present moment in this Substack, from Post #1. It’s a place I’ve always struggled staying close to, constantly concerned with what’s next, or what I could have, should have, and would have done in the past if I knew differently.
“Atha” means “now,” — you can read more about this Sanskrit translation and the first sutra in Book 1 of The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali in this post from October.
I decided to put “atha” at the center of my compass, the compass rose, as a reminder that I always have the opportunity to re-orient myself and start again now. Next, I realized that while gratitude did not find a place on the compass, this compass was a guide to arrive at gratitude as my destination. I think this will be just one of many maps, just like the Body as a House in Katonah yoga is a tool for self-study (read more about that here in my last post).
Here is my thought process —
A Map for Finding Gratitude
Atha: Now is a new beginning. This is where we come back to when we need to re-orient ourselves and remember our final destination, and find our north. You pass through the center, the now, to mediate with the opposite before moving forward.
Abundance: The next step is to have an abundance mindset. This is my true north that I will always come back to, because there is enough for everyone. There is no lack of opportunity, if you follow what is to come next on the map, you will eventually find the people, places, opportunities, and moments that were meant to find you. A scarcity mindset will not serve me or the energy I want to nurture with others. Think of going on a first date, or sitting in a first interview - a scarcity mindset immediately pushes people away.
Acceptance: For each point on the map, we pass through center to get to its opposite and then move forward clockwise. I balance abundance with acceptance, because while there are many opportunities out there for everyone, I still need to accept my present reality and be OK with whatever that is. As Ally Bogard said, you can’t plant a seed of joy in the soil of “now is not OK.”
Patience: Moving forward from acceptance is patience. Need I say more…
Non-attachment: This is where I got stuck. In the Yoga Sutras, Sri Swami Satchidananda says if you remember anything, remember Sutra 1.33. The translation reads, “By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous and disregard toward the wicked, the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calmness.” Essentially, this boils down to non-attachment. I think without non-attachment somewhere on this compass, I would risk arriving at bitterness. In a recent Katonah lecture, Nevine Michaan told us that the biggest defeat in life is bitterness. “Bitterness will result when you put in the effort but don’t achieve the end result you wanted.” We don’t want that! So I think this fits.
“By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous and disregard toward the wicked, the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calmness.”
Curiosity: I think curiosity helps you stay on the road of patience, it brings new possibilities, wonder, but must be balanced by…
Discernment: Discernment is necessary so you don’t find yourself straying off your path, distracted from your mission. To me, discernment is the accumulated wisdom from this journey (this life, a specific project, etc.), giving me the instincts and guidance to know what is right and wrong.
Effort: After being reminded of where not to go, I’m reminded that effort is the only thing that can get me closer to where I do want to go. It is easy to get lazy, to slow down, to be tired and wish for someone else to show up and finish the job for us, but no one will except for you. There is no luck. Do not give up.
Grace: This is another difficult one for me. To tell myself it’s OK where I am on this path. Grace is similar to acceptance, but grace acknowledges how far you’ve come, all that effort you’ve put in, and allows you a moment to pause and thank yourself. To say what you’ve done is enough for today.
Atha: The compass begins and ends with now, and if I ever find myself straying from this compass, I can start again at any point.
I feel so much gratitude for my teachers, so much gratitude for my mentors in and outside of yoga, for my new friends and lifelong friends who’ve been supportive of me finally embarking on this training. The gratitude I have for my family can be overwhelming, it’s what really makes it difficult to give myself grace because I feel like I need to arrive at the end goal of teaching or finding my dream job to make these three months of full-time training & job searching all worth it. Patience, patience, patience!
This teacher training has given me so much more than just a certificate and some sequences I can use to audition for a teacher position. It’s provided me with real life tools for navigating real life problems; it’s revived my curiosity, unlocking a part of my brain that was sleepy and is now hungry for more knowledge; it’s led me to new friendships that I feel I’ve had for lifetimes.
I hope I will have the privilege to teach one day and I know I will forever be a student. At the feet of a teacher, I’m at home.
Namaste.
EST. 12/08/24
In my daughters eyes.
exactly what i needed this sunday morning 🗺️🗺️🗺️🧭 ❤️🧭